Saturday, February 06, 2010

Goo Hye Sun, truly an inspiration

Article from: CeCi magazine November,2009.
(Interviewer: Editor of CeCi: Bak Se Rah)

Things I wanted to ask actress GHS:
GHS is planning to crank up her full length film in November and it is a story of a cellist and music. When did she start writing her script? Did she complete the casting process? Nobody knows. Not too long ago when she published her novel, exhibited her art work and came out with her music CD--nobody knew much about them either. Her work has always been very quiet. That is why, to most people, GHS is like a difficult-to-understand text.

Not too many years ago, only one qualifying word, Ulzzang, explained everything about GHS the actress. Now, her face is full of signs of mischief and curiosity behind those huge blinking eyes and she corrects me: That is not all that I am.

I used to say that I can do anything: I played in NN5 an energetic and 'uh ri bah ri'=goofy(?) screenwriter, then an untainted Yanbin female in the Pure Heart of 19, then a Queen Yune who aroused 'gah chae' (?) in King and I. Yes, I tried my hardest. But I also have lonely memories of not having things work out the way I wanted. In the beginning, I thought that things worked out well for me because I have all the luck and because I am special. I did not realize just how many people worked so hard to help me. In King and I, my self-conceit and pride broke down. I made a debut at young age, I had to grow up fast.

In 2009, GHS again solidified her place as an actress by playing Geum Jandi who, after a period of abuse and torture, ends up being loved by the F4. While her popularity soared among the mass, her TV appearance time gradually decreased. Most celebrities' pattern is to be mindful of how their audience is feeling about them and to adjust themselves to maintain their image. Same pattern does not seem to apply to GHS. In the middle of such heated popularity, GHS walked out to the audience, took the chance in showing, one at a time, new and different sides to her. After the big hit of BOF, she could have easily just enjoyed the unending adulation. However, she quickly gargled the taste of popularity out of her mouth and published her first novel,TANGO. Then she opened her own private exhibition of her illustrations and art work. Then she produced her New Age musical CD. And, in November, she is to hold the megaphone as a director. (We know now that GHS started filming MAGIC on January 15th, 2010.) Now, nobody can really predict her future. She may be able to think about what she has to do tomorrow, but she cannot make a guarantee or positive assertion about her own future. She is curious herself what would her future be like. Only thing that she feels sure is that the process will be mighty interesting.

I always work with a smile on my face. I feel more the benefit from working really hard. On the one hand, living so intensely may seem empty, but I feel so alive. Making movie is about constantly being face to face with other people around you all the time--to communicate, to fight, to have conferences---I love it!

Carefully, the reporter asked GHS about her new movie. Firstly, it is a mystery. The story deals with the endless desires of artistic people. They want to fulfill their intense desires yet the desire is endlesss and meaningless conflicts arise. People die. Towards the end, even after the death of a lover, the lead actor's drive to still play the cello is revealed. It may not be your typical Korean movie that one is used to--it is slightly manic. (GHS smiles)

After BOF, people are again acknowledging her as actress. So, WHY does she have to choose a difficult road of being a director? As I became more and more famous as an actress, whether consciously or subconciously, my routine has turned into hiding myself from the public. The more I talked, sometimes the more it worked against me. If I play a bright and energetic character, I had to stay in that character no matter where I am. If I play a sad character, I could not easily laugh anywhere either. The character that I play is not the real and entire me. If I show the public many other aspects of me, would they be more confused? I want to be more free with myself and the public. How long do I have live my life by restraining and abstaining from being myself? The more and more I thought about it, the lonelier I became.

To comfort my lonliness, I scribbled, painted and composed. However, those are jobs for only one person to do. I wanted to meet people more. So, I went out. I took my work with me. Actually, even before I became an actress, I wrote, painted and composed. Those senior actors who have worked with me have seen my work and have encouraged me to not just keep it as a hobby but to consider writing books and to do art exhibitions. Under such positive encouragement, she worked hard even giving up on sleeping. That is how she came out with her work to the public.

I know that I lack tremendously, but I maintain the cocky attitude that I want to do what I want to do no matter what. Luckily, many people helped me. Some friends worried for me. They cautioned me to first do more acting, really sharpen the acting skills, to try for movie roles. Then, slowly with more experience, try other challenges. I thought about it. However, when would there be the right time for me to know that I am ready to challenge myself new. What if such readiness never come and I die? By nature, we human beings are not even perfect to start with!

I decided to give myself some room. I told myself that I am doing it because I want to do it, not because I am so good at it. A person who already lives her life so intensely may bring out even more authentic colors of her being by adding a flavor of something new. To make one scene, I fight fiercely with the staff. We may even fight more than 12 times a day. Then I would say, wow, we really live way too intensely. For what and whom, are we living this way? I may say that but inside I am feeling just so happy. By collecting others' opinions and thoughts, we have conflicts, so we have to argue and have it out until the end. When I look back at my school days, I remember sports events the most where friends and I had to confer to make winning strategies. These days, I feel like I am always working on our sports events. I am realizing more and more everyday that no work can be completed by just me alone.

In the past, I would think that my thoughts are special and would have thought about making a movie that would be difficult to understand but at least I would be expressing my own thoughts and personality. These days, I do not insist only on my own stubbornness. I try to be in tune with other people's thoughts and opinions. I share my thoughts and feelings and I am more open minded to really explore the tension between me and the public/other and to try to play the rope-pulling game to find a good balance. I can still show myself in the work but I have to make sure that the public, or the audience is clear about it too. The fact that a director must be in tune with the audience and so must be open to the opinions of the entire staff is a different kind of pleasure than what GHS as an actress felt. Everybody's attention is on me, the lead. Nobody knows the stress and the loneliness the actress GHS felt. When people around me would tell me that I have no reason to have stress since everybody is already doing a lot for me, I feel twice the pressure on my shoulder. As time passes, I also feel the limitation of my outward appearance. I may have to look younger or be more mischievous. Such limitation feels like staking a claim on a piece of sand castle. (We all know what happens to those sand castles when the tide comes in. GHS seems to be saying that she felt stifled as an actress but more free and less lonley as a director. She broke FREE.)

Now, this is the start for me. I already hung out all my work out there for the public to see. I am sure that while filming, from time to time, I will look at some of the results and say to myself, I am going crazy...What am I to do now! But, you know what? I know positively for sure that it will be nothing but very interesting! (Some character GHS is!)
Translated by: susAmerica

Source: stroberry@soompi


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